1.
Aziraphale: Are you a cuddler?
Crowley: I'm a machine of death and destruction.
Aziraphale:
Crowley: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.
2.
Crowley: Do you want this handful of moss?
Aziraphale: Why would I want a handful of moss?
Crowley: Damn, you could’ve just said no.
3.
Aziraphale: *working in a flower shop and minding their own business*
Crowley, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???
4.
Crowley: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.
5.
Aziraphale: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.
Crowley: You always act stupid.
Crowley:
Crowley: Wait...
6.
Aziraphale: You’re insane!
Crowley: Sure I am, what’s your point?
7.
Aziraphale, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
Crowley: …What does that even mean?!
8.
Crowley: In the poison’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
9.
Aziraphale: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Crowley: Please, just say fuck.
10.
Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?
Crowley: Not without crying